My wife’s first cousin on her mother’s side just passed away after 54 years from cancer. I have no problem with attending the funeral and the church service. My wife wants me to also attend the burial and luncheon; but I am not sure about attending because I barely know the deceased nor her family. I’ve only meet them 2x. I don’t feel right about being at the burial because it is traumatic for the immediate family and then to have them pay for my meal when I barely know them also doesn’t seem right to me. What would be the proper etiquette in my case? Thanks for the advice.

Rick

Will your wife also be attending the burial and luncheon? If so, then it is proper for you to attend with her. I would focus on being there as a way of showing your support for the family during this difficult time, and certainly your wife would appreciate you being there for her sake.

I understand the uneasiness in feeling like you are adding expense to the family by attending the luncheon (the cost person is usually not over $10 per person), but the priority in these situations is doing what is helpful or brings comfort to the grieving family. Since this is your wife’s side of the family, I would definitely recommend that you attend with her especially if she wants you there.

I hope this helps, and my condolences to your wife and her family on their loss.