Family Issues Archives - Funeralwise https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic-tag/family-issues/ See how to plan a funeral, celebrate a life and create a memorial for a loved one. Learn about funeral etiquette and funeral customs. Sun, 16 May 2021 18:17:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 2nd Rite of Interment, Estranged Children https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/2nd-rite-of-interment-estranged-children/ Sun, 16 May 2021 18:17:07 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=17279 Setup: I’m appreciative of the posts regarding the 2nd rite of interment, it has helped me understand the request I received from the surviving siblings of my deceased father and their plans to bury the ash remains of my Uncle with him. Yet after reading several posts none really fit my exact situation and that’s […]

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]]> Setup: I’m appreciative of the posts regarding the 2nd rite of interment, it has helped me understand the request I received from the surviving siblings of my deceased father and their plans to bury the ash remains of my Uncle with him. Yet after reading several posts none really fit my exact situation and that’s where I hope your guidance comes into play. I have no immediate objections to their request, however I can’t help but think of the children of my uncle whom until only recently we’re estranged.

Question: Do the children of my uncle have any say in what happens to their fathers remains when that time comes? As you can tell, the siblings of my Uncle have already started planning and to my knowledge have not considered the wishes of their niece and nephew. I’m looking to avoid any last minute conflicts and I’m just looking for some heads up on what to expect and plan appropriately.

I do plan on contacting the cemetery for their 2nd rite rules but before I reach out to the children of my uncle I want to better understand what their legal rights if any apply here.
Thank you!
E. Garcia

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]]> What am I considered? https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/what-am-i-considered/ Tue, 12 Jan 2021 20:26:05 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=16373 Hi, My husband? Passed Away on 1/3/21. I was married to him for 13 years and we separated 3-4 years ago and I have since been in a serious relationship. I mother his 2 biological boys and his 1 stepson. He and I were barely on talking terms, my current partner and my (husband) spoke […]

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]]> Hi, My husband? Passed Away on 1/3/21.

I was married to him for 13 years and we separated 3-4 years ago and I have since been in a serious relationship. I mother his 2 biological boys and his 1 stepson. He and I were barely on talking terms, my current partner and my (husband) spoke fluidly. So now he has passed and I feel that I am responsible for everything as I would if he and I were still together, especially since we are still legally married.

His Mother & Brother have not verbalized they disagree, but I can feel some tension between his mother and I when making decisions regarding his cremation, etc.

I am reaching out to see 1, what is my title? If his Mom and I end up in a dispute, who is the ultimate deciding factor? Who should have the right to his remains and basically to be the final on decisions?

So far, I am being referred to as his next of kin. He has even though separated for 3-4 years listed me as emergency contact for everything. So that leads me to believe I should be making decisions and have final say. I just really don’t want to hurt his mothers feelings or step on her toes. So far we have been okay, but we are getting ready to get his remains and I would like to start planning his memorial and want to make sure I don’t make a miss step.

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]]> Second Rite of Interment-Approvals Needed https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/second-rite-of-interment-approvals-needed/ Wed, 07 Oct 2020 17:26:33 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=15959 I am the youngest of 5 siblings and my parents are both deceased and buried next to each other in a cemetery where all of my Mom’s family (parents, grandparents, etc) are buried. One of my sisters has come forward stating she would like to be cremated upon her death and have her cremains buried […]

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]]> I am the youngest of 5 siblings and my parents are both deceased and buried next to each other in a cemetery where all of my Mom’s family (parents, grandparents, etc) are buried. One of my sisters has come forward stating she would like to be cremated upon her death and have her cremains buried with my parents. She says this is called second rite of interment and she needs all siblings to sign off and approve.

I’m a bit confused and somewhat upset by this. Since there are 5 of us, I feel this is a bit selfish of her and I’m not sure that I want to sign. Plus, I don’t know what my parents wishes would have been to have just my one sister buried with them or, for that fact, to have any one else buried with them at all. Just looking for a second opinion and expertise in this area as I’m not sure what I should be asking for in terms of a cemetery contract, legal document, etc. to properly make a decision on whether or not I should approve this.

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]]> Changes after preplan/pay (Pennsylvania) https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/changes-after-preplan-pay-pennsylvania/ Tue, 31 Mar 2020 21:02:26 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=14930 So my brother pre-paid and pre-arranged his funeral. He wanted to be buried. The day of his funeral his estranged son came and claimed the ashes even though the plan was for burial. Did he have a right to do that, and was it handled wrong by the funeral home. Basically we all had to […]

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]]> So my brother pre-paid and pre-arranged his funeral. He wanted to be buried. The day of his funeral his estranged son came and claimed the ashes even though the plan was for burial. Did he have a right to do that, and was it handled wrong by the funeral home. Basically we all had to leave without going to cemetery. Grave was dug up and was paid for

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]]> Who to include in planning of deceased’s celebration of life? https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/who-to-include-in-planning-of-deceaseds-celebration-of-life/ Thu, 23 Aug 2018 15:16:04 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=12745 Should an adult child of a deceased parent consult with the deceased’s out of state siblings to schedule a date for the celebration of life?

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]]> Should an adult child of a deceased parent consult with the deceased’s out of state siblings to schedule a date for the celebration of life?

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]]> Funeral etiquette https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/funeral-etiquette/ Mon, 06 Aug 2018 12:53:19 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=12630 My ex wife and I have been divorced for 23 years recently our daughter passed. I am married to my current wife of ten years. Should she attend the funeral and where should she sit?

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]]> My ex wife and I have been divorced for 23 years recently our daughter passed. I am married to my current wife of ten years. Should she attend the funeral and where should she sit?

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]]> Advance Directives https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/advance-directives/ Sat, 14 Apr 2018 11:21:54 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=12379 If I opt for a Living Will over a Medical POA, will my children be relieved not to have to make the hard decisions, or want to be able to make EOL decisions?

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]]> If I opt for a Living Will over a Medical POA, will my children be relieved not to have to make the hard decisions, or want to be able to make EOL decisions?

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]]> Ex funeral https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/ex-funeral/ Thu, 08 Mar 2018 20:49:37 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=12006 Hello I hope you can help Should I go with my wife to her ex husbands funeral She has 2 sons Ages 21 & 25

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]]> Hello
I hope you can help
Should I go with my wife to her ex husbands funeral
She has 2 sons
Ages 21 & 25

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]]> Spouse of ex attendance https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/spouse-ex-attendance/ Wed, 29 Nov 2017 22:49:53 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=11365 Is it appropriate for the ex-wife’s spouse to attend the services of her first husband?

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]]> Is it appropriate for the ex-wife’s spouse to attend the services of her first husband?

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]]> My mother in law wants a second funeral service for my father in law who died 3 years ago https://www.funeralwise.com/forums/topic/my-mother-in-law-wants-a-second-funeral-service/ Wed, 26 Jul 2017 11:25:55 +0000 https://www.funeralwise.com/?post_type=topic&p=10326 My father-in-law died almost 3 years ago.  He requested specific music and prayers to be said at his funeral.  He had a bit of a “mean” streak and thought it would be funny to ask for music to be played and sung that the choir would have problems with and wanted prayers that even the […]

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]]> My father-in-law died almost 3 years ago.  He requested specific music and prayers to be said at his funeral.  He had a bit of a “mean” streak and thought it would be funny to ask for music to be played and sung that the choir would have problems with and wanted prayers that even the priest was not familiar with.  The priest was very ill and had a hard time following the service, even with help from the acolytes.  So the church service did not go smoothly.  My 87 year old mother-in-law now wants, 3 years later, a “re-do” of the church funeral service.  It was a very difficult and emotional time for the whole family, now numbering 25 immediate family members, and going through this again to please the mother-in-law will only bring back all the grief we went through 3 years ago.  Is this a fair request that she is making?  Not one of her children or grandchildren would want to re-live this event.  Thoughts?

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